I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
