Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
