Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
