Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
