dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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