i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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