you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
