I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
