I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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