4 words: hood of his car
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
