i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So vagazzling was a success
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
