none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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