my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
