we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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