Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
