do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
