I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
