just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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