Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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