How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
