Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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