I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
