fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
