420 ftw
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
