Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
