My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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