I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
