um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
