Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
