i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
