His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
