weddingsv make me drug and hornr
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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