Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
