He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
