Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Randomize
