So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
