is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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