I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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