Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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