Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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