what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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