I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
