You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
