I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
