Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
