Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
