guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
