I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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