Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
