Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
