My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
