He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
